Falling Away From Me

What is the experience of enlightenment?  Or is it awakening, or realization, or satori?  I don’t think the name matters except for whatever people are used to hearing.  We all have our ideas about it.  I certainly do.  Is it an experience at all?  Ramana Maharshi would tell you that if it is an experience, then that’s not it.  The first line of the Tao Te Ching says:

The way that can be experienced is not true; the world that can be constructed is not real.

I can’t seem to think of my search ending any other way than that of a life-changing experience.  I don’t expect the ground to shake, nor do I expect to levitate off the floor and see visions of Jesus and Buddha.  From all that I’ve managed to read about it, I expect that the only thing that will change will be my perspective, or the standpoint from which I see the world.  I expect that there will be a subtle, yet profound, shift in the way I see things.  I don’t expect my life to change.  I will still have a family, and I will still need to work to pay the bills.  The sun will still come up in the morning, and I will most likely still want coffee to start my days off with.  But I expect that I will see it all for what it really is.  Those that I read about (see my blog roll) all say the same things over and over again about what it’s like and what there really is, but they also admit that words can’t possibly describe what that is.  All words can ever even hope to do is to point to what it is, that’s it.  So these words, called “pointers” are all us mortals are given to hopefully break through and finally see.

There’s always this: “There’s nothing to get, you are that already.”  And, “What is searching is that which is sought.”  Ramana Maharshi is fond of saying that you are already that, meaning there’s nothing to do… you are – that’s it!  Nisargadatta Maharaj was very direct with that as well.  Both asking followers if they can deny their very existence.  Of course not.  I exist… I am.  No doubt about it.  I am!  Now what?  I want to put a “what” at the end of that – “I am WHAT?”  But, from what I understand, it should just be, “I am… that’s it.”  OK, I am… that’s it.  But now what?  That’s it my ass!  What do you… oh nevermind.  I know what the answers will be.

I just lost all of what I typed from this point forward due to some unreliable AT&T equipment.  I’m getting really frustrated with those clowns.  But I digress.  Forget it… I was just ranting anyway.